Sunday with the Grandparents in Siófok, Hungary

On Sunday, Anett invited Kristen and I to join in a family trip to Siófok, where her parents-in-law live. Siófok is a town on the banks of Lake Balaton, the largest freshwater lake in Europe. For many years, especially in the 1980s and 1990s, it has been a summer resort town.

In Europe, family vans are much smaller than in the US, and Anett's van is a burgundy Citroen Picasso. Anett's husband Zoli (short for Zoltán) drove with Kristen up front. I sat with Zoe and Eric in the middle, and Anett sat in the back. Zoe is Anett's adult daughter who attends university, and who has been acting as our English translator at several events. Eric is ten years old and has CP---he doesn't talk but he clearly listens and engages with everyone. With Zoe at the center of the car translating, and Kristen side-interpreting to me, we zoomed out of central Budapest to the southwest and soon passed the Buda hills on the highway through farmland.

Anett and Zoli are both very smart, interesting people who I think embody the phrase "inquiring minds." They are also very tenacious, which has been especially important in their lives as parents of a boy with a disability. We discussed next steps for Anett's parent association, and possibilities for further coalition building. Zoli works in finance, and had good insights and questions about the economy and quality of living in Hungary and the US.

Since it is February and Siófok is in the off season, some roads were closed, so Zoli had to figure out how to drive us to the lakefront to see the water. He grew up in this area of Hungary, while Anett grew up in Gyula. Zoli guided us to a park on the lake, where we could look out on the vista. It was a gray day with fog on the horizon obscuring the distant hills on the other side of the lake, but it was still a wonderful sight, and particularly peaceful to hear the waves lapping at the shore.

A panoramic shot of Lake Balaton at the Siofok jetty

After another stop at the port area of Siófok where we walked out on a jetty and saw swans and gulls being fed, we drove to Zoli's parents' home.  His father Zoltán and mother Erzsébet (Elizabeth) greeted us at the doorstep of their burnt-orange painted traditional home, which is over 100 years old. They greeted us all warmly but especially showered affection on Eric, with whom they speak every night on the phone. It had been about two months since they had last all seen each other in person.

We gathered in the dining room, which was heated by a traditional style ceramic fireplace in green.

The ceramic fireplace with dark green tile. Very hot!

The table was laid out for guests with flowers. To the side of the room, Elizabeth had decorated a small tree with Easter eggs in different colors. Through a door, I could see a den with reclining chairs and books; later in the conversation I learned that Elizabeth is a voracious reader and follows global news.

After seating logistics (where to seat me, where to seat Kristen, where to seat Eric so Anett and Zoli could help him eat, etc) and a glass of Hungarian rosé wine, we began lunch, which started with a soup of beef and vegetables in beef broth. We spooned this on top of very thin noodles. We followed this with hand eating of roast beef and mustard, and also bread with bone marrow on it, which Zoli's father spread on bread and gave to us. Marrow is very common in Hungary and Eric loves it.

Elizabeth then brought the main dishes to the table. Stewed cherries and crumple for Eric, and roasted vegetables, beef, and potato dumplings for the adults. A salad of cucumber and sour cream was served on the side. Dessert was a dish called golden galuzka, sweet baked rolls with a sweet and slightly lemon sauce on top.  I know I have many friends curious about food, so here are a few photos.

Hungarian rose wine

The beef soup, with the wine and tubes of mustard. Yes, that is a toy figure of a German man drinking beer. Long story.

Stewed cherries with crumble to the left, and roast vegetables.

My plate. Potato dumplings, braised beef, roast vegetables, and cucumber salad.

Golden galuzka

After lunch, we spent time talking while Zoli did adjustments on Eric's chair. Elizabeth was very curious about the US presidential elections, and Zoli asked about my take on the events in Syria.  Zoe and Zoltan showed us through the family photos on the wall next to the fireplace. The family noted that when they visit, often the big activity is the men work on the cars, while Eric hangs out in his walker outside and spends hours watching the guys fix engines. The house is a peaceful one, though as with any family in Eastern Europe, history hangs heavy in the background.

Eventually we wrapped things up to go. Elizabeth gave Kristen and I each a crocheted Easter egg as a gift. After many farewell kisses for Eric, Zoli backed out of the driveway to head back to Budapest, and we all waved to each other until we were out of sight.

As we drove away, I noted to Anett that both Zoltan and Elizabeth were very loving and supportive of Eric, and I wondered whether this was common with other grandparents. She said it depended---many are very loving but also there are some who do not know what to do with their disabled grandchildren. They don't know how to interact, so they pull back. I am very happy for Anett and Zoli that this is not the case with Zoltan and Elizabeth---I could not see how you could have nicer grandparents for a nonverbal kid with a disability. Life, for kids with disabilities, for all kids really, is far more than a teaching methodology offered by a school---real inclusion matters, in school and out.